Monday, June 27, 2011

How did I get here?

Tonight as I got ready for bed, I went about turning off lights, locking locks, latching doors... I stopped and took a serious look around. In the dimly lit glow of my kitchen looking into my living room, I asked myself, "How did I get here?"

I mean, I know what happened, I know what I willingly gave up, I know what disappeared from my life, I know what I've accomplished (I think). But looking back at these last two years of my life, how that time began, to what it has become now, I am in awe of where it has led me; The people it has led me to.

So much has happened during this time. I have grown, I have learned, I have evolved.

Sometimes, it takes a strong look at a physical place to really see the measure of what you've accomplished. 

I went from this:

To this:

It's not much, nor is it by any means "perfect", but it is mine. None of it existed at the time the first photo was taken. I moved in with a bed, my clothes and books. I have found every piece of furniture I own, most of it I've refinished, a lot of it for free...and thankfully I can now look at this room, my home and my life with pride, because I worked for every single minute and every single inch. 

But mostly? 

I just feel blessed. 

I feel like all of the hard decisions I have been faced with, the gut instincts I didn't ignore and all of the choices I made, brought me to this very moment, this place in my life where I can take a look around and feel as though I am right where I need to be. I am surrounded by people that I love and that love me in return. I am treated with kindness and respect. The people in my life do generous and thoughtful things for me, and appreciate me when I do the same for them. I like who I am and the person I have become. 

And I guess that's a hell of a lot. More than some might ever get, you know?

Well, and this:

Some might never get that, but, I did :) 


Anonymous said...

This post makes me smile.

So does this: "I'm a hopeless romantic that will most likely end up single for the rest of my life because I enjoy my own company so much."

That pretty much sums it up :)


Randy said...

Most of the furniture I have I got from someone else. Did my first refinishing project on an antique piano that I paid $200 for that now would sell for thousands. It was olive green when I got it, and that paint was over a layer of white. Both were dasterdly to it.

Tung oil is my new found friend. :)

I am Chrissa said...

Thanks, Lauralee :)

Amen to both.

PS-I'm mad at you, you were so cute I had to stalk your blog stuffs and just lost an hour. You're awesome :)

And Randy, Tung oil huh?
::runs to Google::

Notes She Wrote said...

wow, you've done such an amazing job with your home! It's so beautiful! I wish I were more into decorating my home because I think most people would think it looks pretty boring!

Notes She Wrote

Anonymous said...

This post was so sweet and heart felt. It sounds like you are in a good place in all respects. Love your decor.

Randy said...

Yep tung oil. It's pretty easy to work with (don't let drips dry!). Just rub on and wipe off. It just takes a while to get a finish build up because you have to let it dry between coats.

Stripping the paint was a huge chore though. Nothing simple about it but we did use some stripper that worked pretty well. It was applied and then covered with paper. Don't remember where I got it or what it's called unfortunately.

Deborah said...

Wow you've made this spot your very own and it is beautiful!!
Happy for you and Im following you in friendship. (purehunnybee)

Deborah :)